The Confessions of Chris Stubbins

One week ago today I passed my driving test, it was exactly the sort of moment I’d dreamt of. I was so overcome with emotion that I nearly cried in the car with the examiner sat next to me, of course I then remembered that I am one large lump of masculinity personified, oh the sarcasm.

For me, the road to passing has been long and challenging.

It all began 8 long years ago when I passed my theory test the first time. It took me one attempt; I was a natural at answering questions. I began my driving lessons immediately with a lady called Avril, a chain-smoking, peroxide blonde woman from the deepest parts of Rainham, Essex. It turned out that I wasn’t a natural driver. Deep down, at a push, she was a nice lady; but I was terrified of her. I’ll never forget the many occasions she screamed, “BREAK!” It was a harrowing time for us both.

Terrified of learning to drive I gave up and enrolled at university, the perfect excuse not to learn. You could often hear me fluttering “when I leave university” or “I have no money to learn, now pass me another Snakebite.” Three years of university rolled around and alas, I still could not drive.

Finally earning a decent post-graduate wage provided the perfect opportunity to start learning. My boyfriend at the time lived in Leicester, which was the perfect inspiration to get my own set of wheels. Like that relationship, my driving lessons failed to materialize into anything of meaning. At the tender age of twenty-three I had all but given up on ever passing that dreaded test, I had banished the thought of driving to the very dark depths of mind.

Eighteen months ago I met the best person I have ever known (up there with my family), fortunately he has put up with nearly all of my faults except my lack of license. Encouraged? Persuaded? Pushed into learning was probably the best thing he could ever have done for me. Five short months after we met I began to learn how to drive, this time with a sweet girl called Zoe, a born teacher. Gently encouraged to go that little faster, make decisions a little more promptly and pursue driving in general, Zoe taught me how to drive.

The big question now is where shall I drive? My car is currently awaiting its MOT – should it pass soon I plan to drive all the way to Lakeside (10 minutes from my home) I mean, why else would you pass your driving test other than to go shopping? Have I got this wrong?

One of my favourite times is Saturday morning here in the kitchen, sitting at the bench with my back to the sun which is warm on my back while browsing Flipboard for the weekend’s news.

Both of the dogs are running around like crazy in the garden behind me, chasing each other’s shadows and scaring the ducks away.

2nd coffee in hand.

Plans for the weekend are a trip to the ‘cheap shop’ as advised, apparently they sell candles that smell good and last ages. The usual cleaning of the house is also on the agenda, but I don’t mind because there’s nothing better than a show room house. Have I watched Desperate Housewives too much?

Dan is making his Thai Green Curry tonight from scratch, hopefully we’ll buy some Singha beer and gulp it down in front of The Voice.

Tomorrow is a day of the dreaded driving lesson, when will I ever pass? My dad’s roast in Mungo will be my reward.

All in all, a good weekend ahead.